For most people who do know me or have somewhat followed me here or there, I signed up with deviant art about 6 years ago, as well as signing up with other social net work sites to share my art. So during the early days, I would write a lot of journals and comments and replies.. in time. Most of us became busy with today’s issue.. working dead end jobs, paying rent. Keeping it together and trying to have a roof over our heads and some food on the table. As well as trying to keep up with having a social life and also trying to feed your recreational habit whether it be drawing, writing graphic novels or playing video games.. generally ‘whatever’ makes you happy as a person.
If i do write a journal it’s usually important to me to remind myself as well as sharing an issue about our own arts. To be honest, I’ve no idea how to word this or even how to begin sharing what it is that I am about to share, so bare with me.. this maybe a rant, or a boring issue or something you may need to hear.
So let me start off with this. With regards to the art I do, or if it is called art.. I don’t know.. there was a time I did vectors for commissions: had a lot of fun and got paid for it, there were times it drove me mad and upset with the bull shit it came with. From getting trolled messages, here and other sites, personal website hacked and black listed, your own network friends ignoring you after the all the fan arts you’ve done, no help in exposing your art on their end, after when you credit them and expose their stuff.. art work stolen from thieves, your name cropped off the image and used for something else.. you name it. It was the nightmare I went through with what was supposed to be fun for me. Turned into something I began to hate, coz the vibe I got from my own art experiences was, you weren’t going to be taken seriously, art should be for free, this notion or movement for trading art for photography, art commissions should be cheap, people only see artist as a tool to get what they want.. and what’s shocking for me is that.. these people who ask for free shit, cheaper commissions or these fucking trade ins, or this.. my personal favourite.. “Draw me and I will expose your art work on my end..” this lie about exposing your art for free art.. DOES NOT EXIST PERIOD!!! And recently, deviant art issued me a strike on my account for no reason on the account that my fan arts breeched a copy right infringement on the fitness drawings which was issued by a solicitor to take down and delete. Keep in mind I have been doing the same shit for 6 years, and this happens. I’ve had some photographers email me privately to ask not be drawn because the photo is used for commercial purposes on their end, etc – valid reasons.. which is totally acceptable and understandable. But to get someone’s account banned for fan arts where 80% of deviant art users are fan drawings and don’t forget the cosplay models who do their thing too based on existing material too.. – to delete the fan art, and then issue you a strike on your account rather than email the artist to ask to take the art down..That’s below the belt for me. Even though their bull shit reply from deviant art staff which in my head read out ‘if you can’t draw anything original, don’t draw to avoid trouble’ – I wrote a journal titled ‘are fan arts allowed’ which would explain this issue I had to deal with. khuantru.deviantart.com/journa…
Art sort of chewed me up and spat me out. This I am dead certain you have all experienced yourself, there was a time where I wanted to share other people art to motivate myself and others who were really ‘down on the dumps’ regarding current social issues or maybe the progress with the stats of art or the pressures of art, I hosted pages on my end for artists to remind us that art should be something that we enjoy. And unfortunately with all good things not lasting forever, that is true also. Even with featuring artists on my end, I had the pleasure of encountering the most rudest artists ever demanding money to be featured, or most would reply back or snap back with a decline due to your background or that the blogs you have isn’t worth being featured on!! What happened to being humble, respectful and a professional?
Like the millions I was one of that large group who was just fucking gone mentally with the pressures of art and the ongoing task of trying to expose our own art.. I red lined myself to a point where I didn’t know what was what.. my current day job killed my social life.. i was constantly tired and weak.. I was talking to myself, i was slowly fucking going crazy.. because of vectoring / fan arts. Because I allowed all this bullshit dilemma of trying to expose art where I should just be having fun and enjoying the process. It took a while for me to reset and pick myself up again and enjoy vectoring.
In time, your mind and body adapts, it changes and endures, those bad issues eventually becomes good, you eventually alter the way you think and the way you act.. hell I even started to do a little bit of exercise with the weights now.. point is.. we all go through this bad seasons of weather.. and at the end we come out all right, or just barely all right.. and then it’s this cycle of repeating the same routines. Which can drive anyone mad or at most, it can be acceptable depending on ‘you’. The most important thing is that you are happy regardless whatever position you are in, understand yourself and accept it whether you are flawed or not.. no one is perfect.. but no one should ever feel sad or unhappy. Which brings us to this point.. the main reason why I wanted to share this rant.
I received private mail via my yahoo and without naming names and revealing the email, it basically said to me in short. That the person who I follow via deviant art and facebook is deciding to terminate their accounts because of the bull shit / unhappy experiences that the individual is going through. The pressures of art and getting commissions were driving the person unhappy, it was wrecking the person mentally and physically. This is why I wrote my experiences of art in the beginning of this journal, that’s what I had to go through, and to this day.. at best sometimes still go through now. We all endure our own frustrations with work and the world, and at times we feel that world doesn’t treat most well so people crash and give up. So reading this it definitely hit me to the core coz that email was like reading what I had to go through and what most deal with. It’s sad to read that an individual’s love / passion for art is what’s making them quit. I hope that this person reads this and know that you are not the only one, there are millions just like you who struggle and at times have no idea what to do. But before you do decide to quit your art and terminate your accounts.. let me personally say this to you
“Your art should be personal to you, your art should be ruled by you and no one else.. your art does NOT need numbers to tell you how good you are.. your art should only belong to you..my fellow artist friend”
Yes, expectations with art and what you feel is deserved to you will cause you to feel depressed and angry, in particular if you are not receiving the outcome, likes, favourites, shares, tweets, retweets and views you would wish you would like. Doesn’t mean your art work is bad.. it only means and its a harsh reminder that what we do, there are millions out there doing the same thing that we are doing.. some are lucky, some are talented, some do it for recreational values.. but terminating your account and stopping art won’t solve anything.. please just take a break from it, and come back fresh and decide why you do art in the first place.
With the introduction of social mediums on the internet, I feel like everyone needs to be famous for their own ‘exposure’ so it is understandable to feel that form of pressure and if that is the path that one goes to in order to share and expose art work – good luck and we hope you have a heart of stone to endure and succeed.. but if you are greeted with negative comments, (troll messaging / cyber bulling) or just silly unfair requests and lies.. or in many cases don’t require the amount of views you wish you would like on your art.. don’t allow that to take away the fun out of your art.. if you do red line yourself.. I say red line coz i did that to myself.. just take a break from it, pick up graphic novels and catch up reading, watch movies, play video games or spend time with the family or friends if you have any, if you don’t have any friends or if you are not a people person, that’s cool too, go for long walks enjoy your current surroundings or pick up some weights.. no one is judging you but please don’t quit.. leave your beautiful art accounts active, and when you are ready to go back into drawing.. it’s there for you to get back into. No pressure just love what you draw my friends.
I realize all this when I stopped caring for numbers, views, likes – anything and everything that was going to upset me or stress me out.. i cut all that out, the moment when you lose control of your art.. stop and take a long break. Now I am back just randomly fixing the old vectors and vectoring anything I like at a crazy paste. No commissions, no trades, no lies about free exposure.. nothing.. only thing I need to understand is myself and the stuff I want to vector for fun.
P.S: if there is bad grammar and spelling mistakes.. i was rushing this message. And also.. come on don’t bull shit me, who gives fuck right, I’m no book writer. I’m just a guy who has a horrible addiction to vectoring pictures, an unhealthy addiction to video gaming, just started to pick up on the fun on graphic novels, love my tv shows and movies.. sort of spend time with the family and some friends, not really a people person, so a life of solitude would be best to describe me.. and I hate lifting weights even though i still try to lift those heavy dumb bells here and there. 
Hey.. God loves, Buddha loves you, Jesus loves you, even aliens loves you too.. how do I know.. they haven’t blasted us with giant ray guns as of yet. So there’s still hope in us to achieve what we want when the time comes, just don't quit and keep going.. (For now that is.)
